Early New Year Resolution

I am going to make an early resolution for this coming year. I might even try to act on it earlier. I am going to try to blog with more frequency. Even if it is just to say what I did that day or to share something deep from my heart. I have so much to say but with a young one I find it hard to sit down for any period of time to blog. I might just have to start a post, save it as a draft and continue adding to it throughout the day. This could be an interesting technique for me but I have a feeling it is something that many other more devoted bloggers do. Here is to hoping for the best!

My nephew is coming....

Well he will be coming. My sister is scheduled for an induction tomorrow! I can hardly believe it's time for him to be here. I am nearly as excited for his birth as I was for the birth of my own son. If he comes tomorrow then my son will be exactly 14 months older than him. My baby sister having a baby......my where have the years gone. Granted I am only three years older than her but my gosh! I can remember (just barely) the day mom and dad brought her home. She was my own baby. To hear mom and dad tell it I acted as if she were my own. Now we get to raise our little boys together. I hope they are the best of friends. I am praying for a short and uneventful labor that produces a healthy baby. I am going to go reminisce the birth of my own son now!

Grace for our children...

While I was still pregnant I had this disillusioned dream of how perfect our son was going to be not only physically but he was going to be as close to Jesus perfect as a human can get. Of course, this was prideful sin on my part for which I have repented. I have also learned, especially in the last couple weeks, how as parents we need to have grace for our children and their faults or bad habits. This last week we have completely weaned B from nursing. A week ago tonight he nursed his last time. It was bittersweet for me. That was our time together. Time that could not be duplicated by anyone but momma. It has been a difficult transition. He still wants to nurse; particularly at night time. We have had a hard time getting him to sleep. My husband has slept a few times on the couch with him. I couldn't sit in the rocker with him because that is where I nursed him. It is so easy to get frustrated at times like this. But I find myself thinking what it must be like for him. I mean the thing that comforts him most we are taking away from him. I haven't come up with a good substitute yet. He is too young to understand why we are doing this or how it benefits all involved.

Tonight as I was rocking him to sleep (for the first time in a week I was able to do this without him trying to nurse or screaming his head off because I would not let him)I was reminded by God of the Grace He has for His children. As a parent, I need to emulate that grace. I need to have grace for B as he struggles with this new transition. I need to have grace as he learns that he should not do something and what No means. I should continue this grace as he grows up and even into adulthood. Now I am not saying that there will not be consequences for his actions if he knowingly and repeatedly does something wrong but neither am I going to browbeat him as he is learning. There will be a learning curve for both him and myself; since we are both new to this. But I am going to try to discipline and disciple (ever noticed how close those words are; I accidentally put disciple first and kept it because it fits too) with the grace and unconditional love God shows us as His children. I am not perfect and I will make mistakes but I pray that God will help me with this and teach me. I am going to try to have an open and willing heart.

PS:
I have learned just how much nutrition he was getting from nursing. He, in the past week, has developed a veracious appetite. Can we say bottomless pit!!

Where have I been?!

It's been awhile. I haven't put up the blog or the pictures that I promised. I have fallen into that kind of blogger. I am not sure what has happened. Wait yes I am! I have a toddler and rarely have a free moment to compose thoughts to put on my blog. I am going to try to do better.

Halloween---a little behind

So yes this blog is a little behind and of course I am sure everyone blogs about Halloween so here is mine. I remember as a kid I loved Halloween, the candy, the costumes my mom made, and the excitement of it all.
I can honestly say I don't so much love it anymore. As a matter of fact not at all really. I have never been one for the scary which is what the majority of people try to do for Halloween. I don't like the movies or the costumes. And this year if it hadn't been for the fact my grandpa bought my son a Tigger costume at a yard sale, he probably would have gone without.

I just don't feel the hype of it all anymore. I am not all that bent on taking B trick or treating door to door unless it's in a neighborhood I know well. This year we did however take him to the Kids' Costume Party at church. They have an AMAZING Halloween alternative. They have inflatables and lots of candy and games. This year the themes was a Knight's Adventure and the church was turned into a medieval castle. This is where we will be taking B every year. They had a room specifically for the ages of 4 and under. There were miniature inflatables for babies to play in and a ball pit. B loved the ball pit. He didn't want to get out. He had been fortunate enough to test it out the previous night when we were setting up for the event.

So while I am not to crazy about Halloween in general I will let him dress up and attend the costume party. But he cannot be anything scary or evil. That's my rule and I am stickin' to it!

Hello 7:00am!

Yes, I realize it isn't 7:00am anymore but it takes me about an hour to wake up. Soooo, Hello 7:00am! It's nice to get reaquainted. Even if I am doing this begrudgingly. You see, I am a night owl and well my son used to sleep in until about 8:00am or 8:30am. Apparently he heard about this other really fun time of day called, 7:00am. So let's be friends again 7:00am but don't expect me to talk to you or be coherent until 8:00am or 8:30am show. It will just be less awkward that way! Bye for now.....see you tomorrow......maybe! :)

Tragedy

I am facing a bit of melancholy today. A lady I met a couple of weeks ago at a jewelry show I did lost her 22 month old son this weekend. They found him in there family pool. We prayed so hard and had hopes for a miracle but it just wasn't in God's plan I suppose. I didn't know the lady well obviously but I had just met her and her children. I could picture his little face as I prayed for him. I don't know if I have ever prayed harder for anyone. When I found a few days later that he had not made it my heart ached so much and I just wanted to cry. I found it odd that I was grieving a child I barely knew. I, however, believe I have figured out why I reacted so strongly.

First off I had just met them so they were fresh in my mind. Secondly, he was only 9 months older than my own son. I can't imagine the complete devastation the family is going through until I think about how I would feel if the same thing happened to B. Words can't even express how I would feel. I know I must give this to God and not dwell on it or live in fear that something could happen to my precious boy. I am just going to love, hug,and kiss him a little closer now. Because even though he has his whole life ahead of him nothing is guaranteed. God has his plan and purpose for B's life. I give him to God for protection and care.

Baby boy's birthday party

It was a success YEAH!!! The birthday boy was energetic and on the move:



He loved his present from momma and daddy:



The Mickey Mouse cake I made turned out decent:



I also made him his own little individual cake to devour:



Only he didn't so much devour it as he played in it:



Overall I say it was a good time had by all! Especially the birthday boy. Speaking of the birthday stay tuned for a retrospect of his birth and first year of life! I can't believe I have a toddler now :)! It's been quite a year!

Pictures in my blog

So I have decided I am going to put some pictures in my blog! But you will have to wait for that post because I am going to use my baby's birthday party as the inaugral event. Oh and I will document the cake making process as well. Should be fun!

First-Born;Guinea Pig

I had a random thought today (if you haven't read my random thought post you should). I was thinking my poor son is like my child guinea pig. I mean he is my first-born. It's like trial and error! All the mistakes I will make on him. Dear Heavenly Father let him turn out ok. Then my next thought, "Hey I was the first-born for my parents and I turned out ok!" Phew, what a relief there is hope for him. Of course God had this under control so I'll quit sweatin' it!

Dressin' the Blog for Autumn!

Decided I needed a little change. For my blog design that is! Get me in the mood for Autumn (I like to call it Autumn because that is my middle name!). Ok, that's all :)

One of those days

I want to be real in my posts. As I am real in my life. And today well it was one of those days. I was EXTREMELY grumpy (bless my husband for putting up with me). I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was watching myself say these extremely grumpy things or do grumpy things but I couldn't seem to stop myself. To top it off my baby boy was not having a great day either. He was clinging and trying to nurse pretty much all day (we are trying to wean so this was not the ideal situation to have). I don't know that there is any correlation to our moods. I have a pretty good idea he has an upset tummy from gas caused by the broccoli he ate yesterday. And my bad mood well we won't get into that but suffice it to say it was the fault of no one.

I am going to try to end my day on a better note. Spend some time in prayer with my Father and ask Him to help me improve my mood tomorrow. It's the best I can do right now since this day is over.

I posted this because while I want to remember all of the positive things I have blogged about I also want to keep it real and remind myself that I am not perfect and do have those days no and then! :)

A Funeral of Celebration

This weekend was the Visitation and Funeral of a dear family friend. My dad was the officiating pastor for the services. This funeral was not your typical funeral. I have been to funerals of Christians before but this one is what I envision the funeral of a Christian should really be like.

This gentleman had been meeting with my dad for months making the plans for his funeral. He had been in declining health for quite some time and had health issues most of his life. He laid out in great detail to my dad how he wanted things to go. He told my dad he didn't want anyone to shed a tear for him because he was in heaven with Jesus. My dad told him he couldn't make that promise so he told dad that no one could blubber. I chuckle at this because he had such a different sense of humor.

I am not going to lay out the entire service for you but some of his requests included that my dad wear a pink shirt (he didn't want somber colors), the gospel be shared with everyone there, and he gave my dad words to speak directly to his wife, children, and son-in law. I admit I did shed tears not so much of sadness but in listening to the words he gave his family through my dad. And then his daughter got up to speak and my tears really came. I have watched her grow up into the beautiful christian woman she is today. She is truly a testament to her parents faith. Her dad would be so proud of her.

This is how the funerals of Christians should be; not heavy and devastating but a celebration of their life here on earth. A rejoicing that they are now in heaven with Jesus. Not saying we shouldn't mourn and have some sadness because that is inevitable. We will miss them and the times spent with them but we have our memories to hold us over until we see them again :)

My Son, My Joy

Being Momma to a little person is one of the most adventurous journeys anyone could take! Today our mommy group from church had an outing to a local State park. Being an 11 month old my son pretty much ran his Aunti and I all over the place as he ran around the playground and up and down hills. We did slide and swing for a bit and stop to eat lunch. But the most still I saw the child was when he sat down near the play equipment where a chain was really close to and parallel to the ground. First he tried to put a leaf on the chain but it kept swinging back and forth. Being ever the thinker my baby boy decided to work with that. He started to pick up the wood chips that were directly in front of him and reach over the chain to drop them on the other side. Never mind that half of them went under the chain and landed back on his side. He was determined. He kept at this for a good while until I lifted the chain up so a little girl could go under it. It was then he decided, after being so good about it, to shove the wood chips in his mouth. I can only assume that this was done because he didn't have anything else to do with them since the chain was too high at that point. I dug piece after piece out of his little mouth and was almost done when in goes another handful. I decided it was time for lunch at that point! However, his sheer determination and watching his little brain work gave me so much joy. He will be 1 in three weeks and I can barely believe how much he has changed! That is all. I just wanted to share my joy with you!

Technology and Me

So this weekend my husband's cell phone bit the dust. Some of the internal components came out when he removed the charger from it. Don't ask me the proper name for it because while I love to USE technology I have not versed myself on all of the inner workings!

Needless to say until we could get one of my old phones switched over that left him with no phone all day yesterday while he was working. To top it off he normally doesn't not have to work Sundays so I was already a tad irritated about that! Anyway, I digress. I could not text him at all while he was gone for 12+ hours! I know! It was a tragedy right?! Or at least it felt like it was a tragedy. Not being able to send and receive even a short little text made my day SOOOOO long.

That got me thinking. I mean, seriously, what did I do before texting? In college while I had texting on my phone I didn't use it much because it cost my parents 10 cents a text. We won't even go into High School because I had one of those bag phone monstrosities that stayed in the car. So basically before I texted or had a cell phone I waited it out or waited for someone to give me a call back. I didn't fret about it all day long. I just went about my merry way. So I am beginning to think I may be too dependent on technology! Is there a twelve step program for that?

The little moments

Short blog because it makes my heart burst with love. Today I was trying to teach my baby boy to give me kisses when I said, "Give me kisses!" Saying that and just showing him, however, did not work so I resorted to acting a fool! I would make kissing noises, say, "Give me kisses!", kiss him and then laugh like a mad woman after I kissed him. He, of course, thought this was hilarious and started spontaneously running over to me to give me kisses just so I would laugh like a mad woman. His aim isn't perfect yet so sometimes he got my neck or my chin but I say it counts! Oh the things we do to make a child laugh, especially our own. This is going down as one of my favorite "mommy moments"

Relinquishing the Reins: A Challenge

I want to lay down a challenge to you today. Some it may be easy for; others it will be one of the most difficult things you have ever had to do. I am one who has difficulty with this challenge.

As followers of Christ we should daily be handing over our lives to His control. Relinquishing the reins so to speak. This doesn't mean with just our life changing decisions but with the small ones as well. This is so hard for me! I am what you would call a control freak bordering on OCD. I try to plan and control every aspect of my life. It's actually quite stressful and I am sure irritates those close to me. I have challenged myself to every day turning that over to God. Actually in all honesty it is something God has demanded of me. Today is Day 1 and I must say I can feel my burden lighten. Not to say that I am not struggling with the need to organize, plan, make lists etc. but it is lighter!

So here it is I challenge you to join me in this. Make a daily conscious effort to turn everything over into the control of our Father. It will be freeing, it will strengthen your relationship with Him and those you are close to and it will allow you to spend more time with Him because you will not be spending all of your precious time trying to control!

Seasons come and seasons go.

I have been watching everyone post on Facebook that Fall is their favorite season and they are excited because we are on the brink of it. It got me thinking, "what is my favorite season"? My answer is complicated. I realized I like them all nearly equally. Every time a new season is approaching I get excited!

When Fall/Autumn is approaching I think of the beautiful colors we are going to experience in God's handiwork of nature and the crisp air. Plus it also helps that my middle name is Autumn!

When Winter is making it's debut I think of all the Holidays, family gatherings and wish for one good snow fall (not ice just snow!).

When Spring is beginning I rejoice in the new life of the trees and plants! I am amazed as I watch what looks like death be turned into new life by God's hand.

When Summer is here I get excited about all of the outdoor activities, the possibility of swimming, and though I don't have any in school yet, I get excited for the children on summer break!

Isn't our God so awesome that He allowed to have all of these seasons in nature? Shouldn't we anticipate the seasons of our lives in much the same way? While I might not always like how a certain season of my life is going, I look back and see how it shaped me as a follower of Christ and as a woman. Right now I think I am in transition to a new season. It has been slow in coming and while parts of the new season scare me I am choosing to anticipate it instead of dread it. After all our Father wants what is good and right for His children. So as I anticipate the approaching Fall I will also anticipate the new season in my life (with God's help of course). If you are reading this I challenge you to do the same!

The Desires of my Heart

I have a lot on my mind lately. Not really going into it on here but we have a lot of changes going on in our lives. Some for the better and some that feel like we are being refined in the fire. Right now I am struggling with a couple of decisions that have to be made. I have always worried (not a good thing) when I have decisions that are going to be life altering. My biggest fear is that my wishes and desires will so blind me that I will not be able to see what God wants for our lives. I have had two instances in the last few months that helped me with this.

The first one was right after I lost my job. I had just had B and had not yet been fully looking for a job. I was getting prayer during our Discipleship Community. The lady praying over me knew I was struggling with having to put our son in daycare and worrying about others raising him. She said to me, Armanda God wants to give us the desires of our hearts. I think you already know what you are supposed to do. Basically she was affirming what I already felt in my heart. I was supposed to stay home and nurture my son.

The second time God affirmed that He wants to give us the desires of our hearts was when we were talking to our DC Pastor about some major life decisions we were trying to figure out. I told him that I often worry that my wants are going to get in the way of God's. He told us then that when a Christian is trying to live out there life for God and seeking Him out that our wants tend to be God's wants for us. In other words if we are seeking God out wholeheartedly and pursuing Him then His desires for our lives become our desire.

Now while this elates me that my desires and His are parallel it doesn't mean that it is going to be easy. There are going to be sacrifices made and it will be a journey but in the long run it will such a deep and fulfilling journey. I am not just talking about being a stay at home mom mind you. Like I said before I am not ready to share everything God is working out. Let's just say I am being refined. No one said being the daughter of a King would be easy. Quite the opposite but it goes so much deeper than that. I am not living this life for the temporary. I am living it for the eternal. I have God's desires in my heart. I desire Him and He desires me.

I am sorry this didn't come out as eloquently as it would for some but these are the words as they pour from my heart. Then again I guess I am really not all that apologetic when it comes to my heart. After all it's God's heart. :) Good night for now.

Mini blog post: Random thoughts.

It occurred to me today while I was trying to take a nap with Braedon that I have the most random thoughts. As a matter of fact it is a good thing that Jesus is the only one who shares some of these random thoughts with me because they would just verify how looney tunes I am! Sometimes I wish there was an off switch for these thoughts. But most times I find I can keep myself pretty entertained. And no this isn't because I am a mom now. I have always thought randomly. As a matter of fact most of my thoughts come with full color images in there(my head) too. I will now contemplate the wisdom of sharing any of these random thoughts with other people besides my husband. I occasionally do divulge them to him and usually get laughed at or get odd looks but he loves me anyway. I know if you happen to be reading this you are curious now but seriously if I told you then you would just know how truly off the wall I can be. Then again if I tell you I may find I am not all alone in my random thinking.

Father's Love

Wednesday through Friday this week was the summer conference for our network of churches. This year the conference was titled The Father's Love. Such topics as Trusting the Father, Father Knows Us, Father Chooses Us and so on where addressed. There were a total of six sessions and one break out training session of our choice. One word to describe my time during this conference, AMAZING!

God spoke to me in some very profound ways. He showed me promises He was giving me and areas I need to work on in my life (worry being a major one) to better serve Him. Prayer Ministry time was so...... well you just had to be there because there is no word I could use to adequately describe it. I got prayer that totally rocked my socks off, nevermind that I was wearing flip flops every day! I felt the Presence of the Father so strongly! I felt cherished, loved, and protected.

It was not all about me though. The Father so touched me in the praying I did for others. If you don't go to my church or haven't been we pray as the bible teaches. Laying hands on someone and praying for them. When I say laying hands I don't mean we try to knock the people over! We just simply lay a hand on their shoulder. I digress. As I was saying I was so touched by the prayers I was praying over others. It is so amazing when the Holy Spirit tells me exactly what I need to pray over someone. I must say there are times I struggle with faith that God is going to make something happen with my prayers but this is an area He is working on in me. These last three days the Father showed up when I prayed. Things happened! I was able to hear him so clearly. I was even able to pray for someone for healing from physical pain and the Father moved as only He can. Can you tell I am excited? My words are running over each other in my head to say just exactly how I felt. Words just CANNOT express it.

Once again this is not about me! All the praise and glory for the Prayer Ministry time must go to the Father. He is good and wonderful and He loves His children. He wants nothing more than for us to completely put our trust in Him and to expect Him to show up and perform miracles in our lives. I am by no means a perfect Christian (anyone who professes to be is lying to themselves) but from now on as I pray, in my private time and for others, I am going to pray expecting the Father to show up. Truly this is how all Christians should pray!

Only the Father knows me completely and knew exactly what I needed from this conference. My heart is filled to overflowing with His love.

Psalm 139

God is Good!

Tonight I could blog about several whoa is me's but I am choosing not to. I am choosing to be positive. Don't get me wrong I have a ton of positive things going on in my life right now but right before I sat down to blog a ton of negative things rushed to mind. So on to the positive blogging.

My husband and I are small group leaders with our church. My husband primarily leads the discussions but due to his work schedule this summer I will be leading for the next couple of months. This thought has filled me both with dread and excitement. I must admit for my discussion topic tonight I underestimated God. The discussion topic was Building the Church, i.e. inviting new people to church and small group. I was concerned that our group members might not be receptive to this topic because of the difficulty many of us have initiating conversation with people we don't know. I prayed this afternoon that God would open their hearts to this topic. And you know what my God is bigger than my concerns!

I can't speak for the rest of our group members but I felt God's presence tonight. It was refreshing. It also told me I heard Him correctly while preparing this discussion. So many times I doubt and don't think I heard Him right. It is nice when He confirms things for me.

On to our group. I challenged them to step out of their comfort zones and pray that God would highlight a person for them to invite or talk to this weekend at church. I am so excited to see what God does with this. I know His hand was on us tonight. I pray that this means growth in numbers for our group as well as spiritual growth. So many times we are scared to answer the simple nudges God gives us. We fear the rejection or the difficulty of the task. I pray that God give me the boldness and courage as I step out in faith to do the work He has given me!

School again? Career change? Am I crazy?

Changing my career (temporarily) and going back to school at John A. Logan (online). Am I crazy? Some might say yes. But I have my reasons and the biggest one is a very good one. The biggest reason is over two foot tall and weighing in over 20 lbs .... BRAEDON. Enough said.

The second is job availability in SOIL and the economy. When I first lost my job I searched for new positions. I applied and either didn't get interviews or was told I was over qualified. All of the jobs in HR that I would be exactly qualified for, such as HR Managers and Directors, are already filled with people that plan on being there until they retire.

The third reason actually this should probably the biggest and should be first, God wants me too! God has been telling me He wants me to stay home with Braedon. But He has also told us He will make provision for us. I feel at peace and that I have His blessing to move on with this career change.

Now what am I changing my career to you ask? Medical Transcription. Why? Because I can work from home,I have always had connections to health care, and God wants me to. I plan to go back to Human Resources once the kids are in school. I say plan quite flippantly because this may not be what God wants from me. He may decide I need to continue medical transcription.

Once I am done earning my certificate I can be self-employed and continue to stay home with Braedon and any future kiddos. This is so nerve wracking for me because I have not been a student in forever! In addition to that it gets a little difficult when everyone knows I have a Bachelors degree looks at me funny when I tell them what I am doing. I have to remind myself these people don't know all the details. I am also a little excited too. I have always liked trying new things. I am excited to further diversify my abilities. I believe I am going to enjoy the career if not the school work!

Isn't it funny the twists and turns life takes us through. I look back where I started and can hardly believe everything that has happened to get to where I am now. But as I look back the most important thing is that I see God's hand on all of it. My Father has being lovingly and firmly guiding me through each twist, turn, mountain and kink in the road. So rather than despair over all the college education I am seemingly throwing out the window I choose to instead accept that my Father put me here for a reason!

The Rain and a child.

Today I sat on the front porch with B and watched it rain. It was a nice warm rain. Nothing very special about it. That is until I looked at it through his little eyes. He was sitting there so very quiet and still. And if you know my son he is generally not either of those two! He was so mesmerized. Watching it hit the ground and the water pour off of the roof. He was in awe watching something he had never really seen before.

It got me thinking about being a child and the simple joys in life. Watching the rain fall or running through the pouring rain. I imagined him, when he gets older, laughing and playing in the rain. How different children and adults are! I mean he stops and watches in awe of something so ordinary as rain while I would have looked at it and whined that it was raining again. Soon he will want to run in the rain, laughing and playing. While I get bent out of shape if I have to run from the store to the car in the rain!

Isn't this true of most things in life and God's creations? We simply take for granted and even complain about some of them. Shouldn't we instead stand in awe of the simple joys? Sometimes it takes a child to make us stop and rethink our attitude towards these things. How refreshing are children with their simple joys, complete awe and faith!

I challenge you next time you are complaining about the rain or something similar to stop and look at it as a child would. Stop and enjoy it. Look for something good in it!

My Angel Baby

I thought of you today. This is good my sweet baby. I miss you even though I don't think of you nearly as often as I used to. Jesus has healed that broken place in my heart. Though there is always still a spot for you there, it just isn't a broken spot. I know you are in Jesus' arms now and that is a much better place than here. It took me awhile to reconcile myself to that in my heart. I still wish I had gotten the chance to meet you.

You would be nine months old in four days. It's bittersweet my darling because if I had you I would not have your little brother and I love him dearly! That doesn't keep me from wishing I could have held you in my arms and counted your sweet little fingers and toes. Your daddy told me one night, shortly after you went to be with Jesus, that I got to hold you closer than anyone else, in my tummy. Your daddy was such a great comfort to me when we lost you. He hurt as much as I did but still was able to comfort me so much. Only God knows why you left us so early. I struggled with this and wanted to ask,"Why God?" I mourned you with much grief but finally was able to praise God in the midst of that same grief. Because most of the reasons you are with Jesus I will never be able to fathom but you did give your daddy and I great hope. You know that is what we call you, Hope. We don't know if you were going to be a boy or girl because you were only in me for a few short weeks. But oh the Hope you gave us! Even though we couldn't have you Jesus used you for a greater purpose. He let Momma and Daddy know that we could have sweet babies even though we thought it was going to be difficult for us. My darling we will see you one day soon, Your Daddy, little brother (any other future siblings) and I. Until then we will think about you in Jesus' arms. He is caring for you more tenderly than I ever could and for that I am thankful.

I will always miss and love you,
Momma

Mother's Day

This is such a special time for me this year. My first Mother's Day with B in my arms. I semi celebrated last year when I was pregnant but this year was definitely different. I truly know what it is to be a mother now or rather I am learning haha!

I appreciate my mother so much more now. My mom was a SAHM also. I don't believe I ever fully appreciated the challenges faced by a SAHM until now so thank you Mom! Thank you for all of your sacrifices and unending patience. Thank you for being there for me, guiding me and showing me how to be a mom. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful godly mother to mentor me on how to be a good christian woman and mother.

This Mother's Day also had a sense of anticipation in it because while she is only 8 1/2 weeks pregnant I am joyful that my sister is going to be a momma! What a blessing and answer to much prayer! I can't wait to see her blossom as a mother.

I am so thankful that God blessed me by allowing me to become a mother. I am thankful that He healed my body and made this day possible!

Note to B (and my little angel baby in heaven): Momma loves you soooo very much! Being a mother to you is one of the best rewards in my life apart from being a wife to your daddy. I may not always be a perfect mother but I will do my best to be the best mother I can be for you. I love you always and forever!

So horrifying it's funny!

OK, so short little blog here. Just because I had yet another "fun" experience in parenthood! You know everyone tells you about the diapers, you know the ones that go up baby's back and require a hosing down. B had his first one of these about two months ago. Fortunately Steve made it home from work just in time to help me deal with it. We hosed him down in the bathroom sink, no harm done. I could count, until tonight, on one hand the number of times it has happened since both alone and with Steve here. During the whole time we had been learning solid foods and it was getting, at the risk of grossing you out, thicker.

Well, tonight topped them all. B had gone about 3 days with out going number 2. At this point he is eating three small meals a day in addition to nursing. So I knew there was a lot in there that needed to come out. I was actually dreading it. This afternoon I saw him straining and thought here it is, cringing as I took him to the changing table. But no it was just a minuscule amount. Later tonight we gave him a bath and were getting him ready for bed, Steve was rocking him to sleep when he went again. A little worse this time but still not bad. Steve put him in the exersaucer after that. I went to get him out to nurse and I smelled it. Steve laughs and says "you are on your own with this one" (because that is what I told him earlier ha). Then I put my hand on B's back and I felt it. And by it I mean everything that could have possibly been inside that tiny little body. I told Steve he had no choice but to help me because I was going to need it.

Upon opening his onesie Steve immediately says, "cut it off!" I was adamant we weren't doing this because I had just bought it! So he said we were taking B to the shower. We lift his onesie and commence to spraying it and his little self off. Then we remove the diaper! Seriously, this child should not have had that much in him,wow, no wonder he has been cranky the past couple of days. I just thought he was teething. Then, the real dun starts, B sees it in the bottom of the tub floating towards the drain. Oh My! Steve is laughing, I am yelling no B don't stomp your poop and B is happily stomping away. Needless to say our son got another bath. While it was not amusing at the time and I was mostly dismayed, I must say I will most likely laugh about this in the morning! Oh the joys of parenthood! I wouldn't trade them for anything! Sorry this short blog turned long.

Here's to starting.

Well, here is to my start into the world of blogging. Sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes I don't so we will see how well it goes. I am going to use this more for myself than for anyone else. I will blog about life mostly. Or rather my life and what is in it. Namely, God, my husband, my son, my family and friends.

To many (more than likely most) you may not find my words interesting and I am okay with that. There may be grammatical and spelling errors due to late night blogging after B is in bed. Thank goodness for spell check.

This is going to be another outlet and form of expression for me. I have reached a point in my life where I see myself becoming more. By that I mean I believe that as I grow older I am coming more into my own, more what God wants me to be and more in the lives of the people that surround me. More is different for me. Not that I was less before but rather that I am finding new facets to myself that I didn't know were there before or am doing things I never dreamed I would do. Still confused? Here is an example:

Five years ago I never dreamed I would be a stay at home mom (SAHM). I was a very career driven young woman. I had career goals ahead and of course marriage and children in my future! But stay at home mom.....I think NOT?! Not until I was pregnant and then I had my son seven months ago could I even fathom such a thing. Then I began to desire it and grieve the fact I wouldn't be able to do it. Then God entered and dare I say blessed me with the loss of my job. Now I can't imagine it any other way. I am so much more than a SAHM.

See there is that word again more. I am more because I am able to be a better helpmate to my husband, better nurture my son, better serve my Lord. If I still had my career in the same way before I wouldn't have the time for all of that, sadly.

So I am entering a new season in my life. An exciting season. So exciting ( I hope) that I want to cherish and treasure it by blogging it so my children may read about it later. For now though, no anecdotes or deep thoughts, it's just to bed with me.